Excellence in Parenting
By Thorpe M Bello
Making excellence in parenting requires some basic knowledge and skills in the field of parenting. Having a good qualitative standard in parenting demands special skill and ability to nurture people from childhood to adulthood where they can be a replica of your true identity as a parent and makes you a role model.
Good viable parents do not fall from heaven, neither were they taken to a special school of study in parenting, but they are the individuals that took their time to build their homes and the lives of their children. They are the people that understand the principles of parenting and work towards it earnestly and accordingly, against all odds.
Parenting is not just an act of giving birth and raising children, but an art of ensuring that those kids become responsible in the society and fulfill their purpose in life.
In our society today, we have fathers and mothers whose major responsibilities is to give birth and ask God or Government to care for their children. So also we have single fathers and mothers, dormant fathers or non-residential fathers and irresponsible mothers. These set of people cannot be called parent because parents are the people that stays together ensuring the welfare of their children are met and discharge their parental responsibilities accordingly. We have few people that can be called parent in our society today.
The act of parenting which should be called "parental studies" should be included in our Educational curricular where people can be taught on qualitative manners of parenting.
THE CONCEPT OF PARENTING
Parents are the Sheppard who nurtures and care for the gift of God in marriage. Parenting signifies the responsibilities of parents at a due time, ensuring efficiency, proficiency, diligence and discipline that are characterized with a charitable life that can influence their children positively. Marriage is about vision while parenting is a business. Parenting is not just an act of giving birth or child bearing, but an art of taking full responsibilities of the family needs and necessities i.e. feeding, caring, training, education, shelter and so on. Parenting simply means, fulfilling the purpose of child bearing in its full capacity through nurturing, caring, tutoring, loving and discipline.
Although, something unprecedented cases do happens in the family which might have not been envisaged or prepared for, but it's a fact that every family must experience some level of challenges in life.
It is obvious that all of us have something to say about our past, like those days where we were told to place our belly flat on the floor while hungry. We are trained to coddle with hardship and suffering as part of the process to greatness in life which we must not go to the street to beg, even if you attempt to do so, you will be quickly caught and be beaten up to faint. But nowadays, parents don't care much for their children; even some of them knows nothing about the affairs of their children because they are not always available.
Children are not meant to just be born, grow and take care of their parents, children are to be nurtured, tutored, empowered to be good ambassadors of their family and their society, also to be responsible to themselves, to the society and their parents.
Children are the investment of pride, from the beginning you keep investing on them, train them, teach them, educate them and give them all it takes to be great in life which is their inheritance in life. In the process of these, it cost parents lot of money and time before a child can be independently viable to take care of him/her.
By this time, the parent might have grown old where you can now be proud of your children achievements and point hand unto them as your true son or daughters. The child must have been established before coming back to bless the parent. The financial pressure given to children by their parents without being properly established contributes to the menace we found in our society today where corruption, crime and unlawful activities that leads to social degradation and insecurity in all sectors of our national life.
Having understood these as parents, and also understand the economic condition/situation of the country, do we still need to give birth to children we cannot cater for? The children we cannot train, nurtured, tutored, and empowers financially, materially, morally and educationally will surely become menace in the society.
It's of parental negligence if a parent failed to plan his family, numbers of children that can be catered for and always work to meet the necessary needs of the family.
WHO IS A PARENT?
A parent is a name of persons in the business of parenting at its full capacity. As parenting is an art of grooming kids to greatness with the available time and resources, therefore parent is a synonym of someone or somebody in the position of grooming the seed of life through the process of formation into a responsible adult.
Parent as a name has no connection with irresponsibility where an irresponsible person can be called a parent; a parent is a person that discharges his/her responsibilities towards his/her children accordingly.
TYPES OF PARENTS
We have two major types of parents, they are
1. VISIONARY PARENTS
2. NON-VISIONARY PARENTS.
1. VISIONARY PARENTS: These are the individuals with distinguished characters and attitude towards training and upbringing of their children. They are the people with sound mind and viable skill of grooming their children.
They are filled with vision for their children and prayers in order to make their children great in life. They usually have interpersonal relationship with their children and lead as good examples for their children emulate.
They are friends to their children, they plan for them and even for the whole family, they manage the available resources and always available for their children.
Visionary parents ensure that their children get basic needs with care and then nurture them in Godly manners. They plan the numbers of children they can cater for and also plan for their future. They love their children all together and show them love without disparity, they gives their children the necessary discipline in order not to transgress and encourage them to be successful in life, in fact they are role models to their children.
2. NON-VISIONARY PARENTS: These are the set of people that lacks qualitative manners of parenting. Their marriages are usually based on casual relationship and their children are out of wedlock. They exhibits same characters they possessed before their union; they lack the ability to discharge their primary duties and responsibilities at home and for their children. They drink alcohol heavily, some indistinctly. They talks out of order, they breaks moral precepts and the rule of good behavior. They still engage in extra-marital affairs and give birth to unknown children and bastards. They lack moral standard, sometimes very ignorant about the economy; they are spectators in life and ruthless arrogant. They are illiterate or educated ignorant with no common sense of social responsibilities, they have no plan for their children but love to eat from their children's sweat, and they love to have numbers of children which they cannot cater for.
They usually kill the special gifts and abilities in their children; they ignorantly enslave their children, they always allow the society to train their children while their children become problems to the society. They always depends on other people to watch over their children and take care of them, sometimes they train their children base on social contract.
They are angry and explosive parents that creates unfriendly atmosphere at home, they causes tremor for children and creates fear and anxiety in the life of their children.
These types of parents deprive their children from being great and expose their children to societal menace and destruction.